Below is the girls' reply to the allegations put forth on the blog.... The DGS claims to be able to refute these claims with ease...but is going to accept these arguments because of the effort demonstrated by the girls to do this. Questions loom regarding some of the answers. Isn't slander spoken words not printed? A goat baaaaing is animal abuse? Just because food and water isn't present in the cell means they don't have access to food and water? Isn't it possible for one to be at war with something and not be at war in return (War on Drugs, War on Poverty, etc.)? While the ALF terror question was not confirmed, it was not denied either. Just as Israel doesn't deny having nuclear weapons but doesn't confirm it. Does the Geneva Convention apply to animals? It clearly applies to people. Perhaps the DGS mislabeled??? Why wasn't Swingle denounced as Goatinania Minister of Truth before now? The Constitutional issue refers to Guantanomo Bay, Cuba, not Goatanamo.
Goat Release Plea
Claim: “The goats have been convicted of the crime of transforming two freshmen girls back into 5th graders.”
Response: This is slanderous towards the goats! Kayleigh and Rachael have done several foolish things this year such as getting lost on a free trolley, getting kicked off said free trolley, setting off a clearly marked alarm—twice… being asked if they were having a baby because of the noise they were giving off, and wearing Culver’s numbers on their heads, all before they obtained the goats. In light of this, we can see that the goats are not to blame for their immature, 5th grade-esque behavior. Their immature behavior is non unique to the goats seeing as there are many instances where the goats were not even born yet.
Claim: “New virus discovered: MGD (Mad Goat Disease)”
Response: Anyone who has watched this video can see it is clearly a horrendous instance of animal abuse, where the tormented goat is being made fun of by its cruel, truculent owner. This is similar to what the DGS is doing to our beloved dictators Sofar and Shofar. Treatment like this is unacceptable and if it continues, we will be forced to notify PETA and the Animal Liberation Front. Do you really want to deal with PETA? …We didn’t think so. J
Claim: “Photos have been received to ensure the goats are in good health and being treated humanely.”
Response: This claim is laughable. In fact, later in that same post the author writes “It appears they[the goats] are being held in a wooden confine without food or water.” I would like to direct your attention to the Geneva Convention.
“1. Persons taking no active part in the hostilities, including members of armed forces who have laid down their arms and those placed hors de combat by sickness, wounds, detention, or any other cause, shall in all circumstances be treated humanely, without any adverse distinction founded on race, colour, religion or faith, sex, birth or wealth, or any other similar criteria.
To this end the following acts are and shall remain prohibited at any time and in any place whatsoever with respect to the above-mentioned persons:
(a) Violence to life and person, in particular murder of all kinds, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture;
(b) Taking of hostages;
(c) Outrages upon personal dignity, in particular, humiliating and degrading treatment;
(d) The passing of sentences and the carrying out of executions without previous judgment pronounced by a regularly constituted court affording all the judicial guarantees which are recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples.
2. The wounded and sick shall be collected and cared for.”
The goats were never involved in any kind of war with the DGS and can therefore must be considered civilians. The DGS has breached numerous clauses of the Geneva Conventions, which is active not only in the United States government, but in most countries around the world, including Goatinania. Therefore, the DGS could be subject to persecution by the United Nations for their actions.
Claim: “Sofar and Shofar are enemy combatants / terrorists.”
Response: According to the Council on Foreign Relations, “An “enemy combatant” is an individual who, under the laws and customs of war, may be detained for the duration of an armed conflict.” There was at no time an armed conflict between Goatinania and the United States or even the DGS; therefore, they cannot be deemed enemy combatants. As for the claim of terrorism, the DGS has yet to produce any evidence linking Sofar and Shofar to terrorist attacks. All that they have done is accuse them falsely, which is slander. The evidence they provided was this: "I heard that Goatinania harbors ALF terrorists. Is this true, or just convenient fiction?" This is merely a question and, as the DGS can see, was never confirmed. They did no research of their own and are holding the goats on baseless charges. Furthermore, because the goats are being detained in the United States of America they have the right to a lawyer and to maintain their innocence until proven guilty in a court of law judged by a jury of their PEERS (if you guys want us to bring in 12 more plastic goats we’re more than willing). Again, many of the incidents of terrorism the DGS accused Sofar and Shofar of (such as the incident at the Verazzano Bridge) are nonunique to the goats and they still proved no connection between the two. We would just like to remind you all that you have the burden of proof. The goats must be treated as American citizens, because they have dual citizenship.
Claim: “Nick Swingle, Goatinania Ministry of Truth.”
Response: Nicholas John Gray Swingle has been denied the position of Minister of Truth on several occasions. He is not now, nor ever has been, the Minister of Truth in Goatinania or involved in the government in any way. Therefore, he cannot be considered a valid source in the DGS’s abusive fishing expedition.
Claim: “SoFar and Shofar were part of a terrorist goat plot to destroy multiple bridge targets in the US.”
Response: First, some housekeeping issues. Sofar and Shofar do not capitalize the F. Furthermore, Sofar is male and Shofar is female. Kthnxbai.
Now for the terrorism charge: Again, these charges are nonunique and the DGS has absolutely no concrete evidence directly linking these hollow-horned mammals to the destruction of any property, government or private.
Claim: “They will be detained indefinitely (and without any charges filed).”
Response: This is a clear violation of the U.S. Constituion. “On January 31, 2005, Washington federal judge Joyce Hens Green ruled that the Combatant Status Review Tribunals (CSRT) held to confirm the status of the prisoners in Guantánamo as "enemy combatants" were "unconstitutional", and that they were entitled to the rights granted by the Constitution of the United States of America.”
Claim: “ShoFar will have to be tested for rabies.”
Response: According to the medical encyclopedia, “Rabies is an acute viral disease of the central nervous system”. The goats are plastic and do not have a nervous system, therefore they cannot be infected with rabies.
