Ladies...the DGS generally accepts your answer to the Guinea Pig problem although we are highly suspicious not all 7 died of "natural" causes. We were told one ran up the rain gutters never to be heard from again. The DGS is suspicious (but cannot prove) some or all of the G. pigs died of exposure, mishandling and other such causes. If you agree to perform said song as "entertainment" at our first annual Debate Picnic/Goat Feed this summer, we will agree this issued is closed.
We would expect at least two minute's worth of entertainment.
If you need the goats present for moral support, we will allow a one time exemption to our answer below.
That brings us to our final unresolved issue. Unfortunately you are in no position to make non-negotiable statements. Here we came forward today with a clear path for you to resolve all items and you placed non-negotiable conditions upon us and WE HOLD THE GOATS. Somehow this isn't logical. Debate is all about logic. You can't bargain if you don't hold the chips. If this were poker--you're bluffin cause you got nothin. So we call the bluff.
Logic says you do not need your goats while taking tests and DMPS does not have an exception in their policies for goats as moral support. However, to be fair, we are in the process on consulting DGS faculty at both Roosevelt and Central on this issue. Expect their rejection of the matter shortly.
Might we suggest no one ever sees these goats, their offspring, any future offspring or any future goats and any other animals at any DMPS building under any circumstances. You would also have to agree to debate tournaments, and other debate vents.
If you cannot get to that you are likely in trouble and an execution date will be set with sufficient notice so that all who wish to witness may attend.
By the way, we have a new DGS member as of this afternoon. A female debate student who is requesting the special privilege of frying the goats herself. We note poll numbers continue to grow in our favor.
You have an hour.
Cordinally, The DGS
